I’m watching everyone win around me.
Baby announcements, engagements, weddings, excelling in careers. I’m watching it all happen from below.
This morning I went in for a CoVid test. I was certain I had it because I had fever and checked most of the symptoms. But, nope, it came back negative.
So, here I lay in bed, feeling horrible and likely not getting paid for missing work because my test was negative.
Yesterday? I had to rush my dog to the vet because he couldn’t get up. Before that? Wrecks, fights, separation, and blow after blow.
For the first time in maybe my entire life, I dreaded going home to lay around for a few days until I feel better.
I don’t want to be alone.
I don’t want quiet.
I don’t want to think.
I don’t want to be in my own head.
For the first time in awhile, I’m stuck home alone for 72 hours.
Last year, I would’ve been more than happy to catch up on much needed to rest. But this year? I’m starting over. Every way possible.
New job.
Be financial status.
New relationship status.
New worries.
So, instead of resting, I’m scrolling to take my mind off the bad around me.
All the happy announcements, I’m cheering them on, hyping them up. But I’m doing it from the bottom, looking up.
I’m happy for you all. I’m silently rooting you on.
But I’m hurting.
Thats life, though, right? Cheering each other on until it’s our moment again. The highs and lows, happiness and pain, good news and bad. Wherever you are right now, it never lasts.
So if you’re at the bottom looking up like me, just know you will be at the top again. And you’ll be pulling those up from the bottom.
Our situation is never permanent. Its never the end.
<3 the girl silently cheering you on from the bottom
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